The Smallest Things

I realized today that I seriously need to stop and smell the roses sometimes. Ok, well maybe not roses exactly, but you know what I mean. I've been in a bit of a haze for the last week. Everything has been kind of numb, and I haven't been paying attention to much. I've been crabby, impatient, and just generally not very fun to be around, I'm sure. So anyway. I've been at my parent's house for the last few days, just kind of hiding from the world. No tv, the internet connection is frustrating at best, and I can easily leave my cell phone somewhere and just forget about it. (Sometimes I really just want to chuck that thing!) So this afternoon I decided it was time to put my big-girl panties on and get back to my own house. 'Cause I kinda pay rent there, and should probably actually use the space. And it needs cleaned. Bad.

Now this is probably going to sound a little stupid, but just bear with me. There's a point, I promise.

So I'm at the stop sign on the county road leading to my parent's house, about to turn onto the highway back to my life in the "big city" when I see a turtle in the middle of the road.

He looked something akin to this. With less trees. And mountains. And scales. And tail. So basically the asphalt and the fact that he has four legs were the only common factors. But you understand.

I seriously sat at the stop sign for almost five minutes watching him. All I could think about was how long it was taking him to cross that four-lane. And how dangerous it was. (Before I go on, please know that I did get my lazy, animal-loving butt out of the car and deliver him safely to the other side.) I was thinking, "That turtle puts his life on the line just to make it to the other side of the road. How many times has he done that? What's on the other side that is so all-fired important that he would risk death by squishing just to get there?" It's probably ridiculous, but that little turtle really made me realize that I need to appreciate more things in my life. I've been so discouraged and feeling like any effort I make is wasted. I was reminded today that I'm actually pretty darn lucky. I have food; shelter; a car; I'm going back to school this semester; moving forward with my life; and bettering myself (Or so they tell me. I'm not convinced. But that's another post). Plus I don't have to inch my way across four lanes of traffic, unable to move quickly enough to avoid the tires of speeding Mack trucks! He inspired me (yes, I'm talking about the turtle) to try a little harder. To take a few more chances with my life. We're not talking skydiving (yet), but maybe just foregoing all of my ususal planning and worrying to just enjoy life a little more.

My decision for the day: Step back and enjoy each day as it comes. Stop worrying so darn much, and move forward to the best of my ability.

Please feel free to keep me accountable...but that, of course, assumes someone actually reads this thing! :-)